How to cope when your spouse's family hates you…

You know how it is. You search and search for that perfect someone and then you finally meet them. Everything is great, you walk around in your love cloud dreaming of the day you two will get married and have a family of your own. You think that everything is perfect and finally it is time to meet the future inlaws. You are nervous yet excited and you fantasize about family holidays and barbecues. You finally meet the family and to your surprise, they don't like you. They don't think you are good enough for their baby. You are shocked and hurt and pray that they will grow to love you. Sometimes they do but sometimes they don't.

This is an issue that is dealt with a lot. A lot of people have inlaws that they do not get along with. Here are a few ways to help you cope with this.

You have the option to ignore them but this very rarely works unless you live far away from your inlaws and you only see them once in a while. You have the option to confront them and demand that they respect you. This will go one of two ways. Things will get better or they will get worse. If you decide to confront them do it gracefully. Try to avoid being hostile when you confront them. There is a chance that they don't realize how bad they are being. Sitting down with them and having a conversation might make them realize how bad they are being. Just be aware this will open the door for them to explain to you what their problem is and it might hurt your feelings.

Try to be open-minded and realize that sometimes it will have nothing to do with you but maybe you are dealing with a parent who will never think that anyone is good enough for their baby. Maybe it's a sibling that feels left out and sometimes it might have something to do with the past.

A great way to help this situation is to take each family member separately. This gives you a chance to spend time with them and let them get to know the real you. Always be kind and figure out the best way to handle your situation. Make sure you are open and honest with your partner about your feelings so they can make sure their family is treating you properly. Don't let them get away with not confronting their family, no matter how much they just want to keep the peace. You both have to figure out together how to handle the situation and after all, it is their family. Keep your chin up, it will get better.

Amanda Jordan
Author/Coach/Creator